Please see these gracious words my wife has posted on her blog and why I adore her spirit so...
http://halmar.wordpress.com/
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
smashing idols
"I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols"
- Isaiah 42:8 NIV.
God has given me the joy of deep satisfying worship since spring of 2004 when "The Passion of the Christ" film came out---God used that film to open the eyes of my heart to see Christ suffering and crying out for us and our forgiveness ("Father, forgive them! for they do not know what they do!"---these have to be among the most profound words to ever cross human lips!!). Charles Wesley penned it well---"Hallelujah! What a Savior!!" How could Jesus NOT be beautiful and desirable??
However, a joy in worshipping Christ doesn't flush out all the pet idols we keep, sorry to say. This week, the Holy Spirit confronted me that I had made an IDOL of my job at Deloitte---that is, I derived my sense of WORTH and IDENTITY from my job in Deloitte DCS, rather than in being a child of God...PERIOD. As the scripture from Isaiah above sates, God will not share any of his glory, he will not allow any idols in the believer's heart. Rather, he will smash all idols and kick out any props we lean against. That is is precisely what the Lord has done to me.
I am happy to be consciously aware of my previously unconscious idolatry. I pray to have restored heart, full of authentic worship, satisfied exclusively in Him: detesting all idols. God had to cut my job out from under me in order to get me to see it---and I am grateful.
However, I'm finding myself left with a feeling a desperation for a new identity---and the danger is to jump from the frying pan into the fire---IE: to try to get my sense of identity and worth from a NEW job, or from a Seminary.
May God become even more real...even more glorious...more satisfying!!
dbh
- Isaiah 42:8 NIV.
God has given me the joy of deep satisfying worship since spring of 2004 when "The Passion of the Christ" film came out---God used that film to open the eyes of my heart to see Christ suffering and crying out for us and our forgiveness ("Father, forgive them! for they do not know what they do!"---these have to be among the most profound words to ever cross human lips!!). Charles Wesley penned it well---"Hallelujah! What a Savior!!" How could Jesus NOT be beautiful and desirable??
However, a joy in worshipping Christ doesn't flush out all the pet idols we keep, sorry to say. This week, the Holy Spirit confronted me that I had made an IDOL of my job at Deloitte---that is, I derived my sense of WORTH and IDENTITY from my job in Deloitte DCS, rather than in being a child of God...PERIOD. As the scripture from Isaiah above sates, God will not share any of his glory, he will not allow any idols in the believer's heart. Rather, he will smash all idols and kick out any props we lean against. That is is precisely what the Lord has done to me.
I am happy to be consciously aware of my previously unconscious idolatry. I pray to have restored heart, full of authentic worship, satisfied exclusively in Him: detesting all idols. God had to cut my job out from under me in order to get me to see it---and I am grateful.
However, I'm finding myself left with a feeling a desperation for a new identity---and the danger is to jump from the frying pan into the fire---IE: to try to get my sense of identity and worth from a NEW job, or from a Seminary.
May God become even more real...even more glorious...more satisfying!!
dbh
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Graduation Day
Yesterday, April 17th, 2009, I graduated.
Puzzled, you ask yourself, "Didn't he graduate back in '95 at the U of MN?" Maybe you were there and remember the beautiful June day and all the flowers and green on the Twin Cities campus.
Ok, so it wasn't an official graduation---and the cap & gown and diploma existed only in my imagination. But to me, they were very real.
You see, my job at Deloitte ended yesterday, two weeks after it was announced that our entire department nationwide was undergoing a "Corporate Realignment" which would close all "satellite" offices, like ours beginning April 17th.
I am grateful that I was able to work hard, sprinting until the very very end. In fact, I had to turn away work requests that came through just 45 minutes before my scheduled exit-interview where I would turn in my laptop computer. I have nothing to be ashamed about.
And the sendoff was utterly amazing. Such an outpouring of support and encouragement and reassurance that this was in no way performance-related.
Finally, the support that Deloitte offers to its employees in transition also astounds me. I have a job coach who is helping me with my resume and there are countless resources made available.
So...I look at this is graduating, all over again. Deloitte offered me tremendous training opportunities and I have learned much indeed. Now, with cap and gown (imaginary as they are), and diploma in hand, I am not set out into the world to go and make good.
And I'm ready.
Join me on this journey...I'm sure it will prove to be exciting...and challenging.
Puzzled, you ask yourself, "Didn't he graduate back in '95 at the U of MN?" Maybe you were there and remember the beautiful June day and all the flowers and green on the Twin Cities campus.
Ok, so it wasn't an official graduation---and the cap & gown and diploma existed only in my imagination. But to me, they were very real.
You see, my job at Deloitte ended yesterday, two weeks after it was announced that our entire department nationwide was undergoing a "Corporate Realignment" which would close all "satellite" offices, like ours beginning April 17th.
I am grateful that I was able to work hard, sprinting until the very very end. In fact, I had to turn away work requests that came through just 45 minutes before my scheduled exit-interview where I would turn in my laptop computer. I have nothing to be ashamed about.
And the sendoff was utterly amazing. Such an outpouring of support and encouragement and reassurance that this was in no way performance-related.
Finally, the support that Deloitte offers to its employees in transition also astounds me. I have a job coach who is helping me with my resume and there are countless resources made available.
So...I look at this is graduating, all over again. Deloitte offered me tremendous training opportunities and I have learned much indeed. Now, with cap and gown (imaginary as they are), and diploma in hand, I am not set out into the world to go and make good.
And I'm ready.
Join me on this journey...I'm sure it will prove to be exciting...and challenging.
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