Please see these gracious words my wife has posted on her blog and why I adore her spirit so...
http://halmar.wordpress.com/
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
smashing idols
"I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols"
- Isaiah 42:8 NIV.
God has given me the joy of deep satisfying worship since spring of 2004 when "The Passion of the Christ" film came out---God used that film to open the eyes of my heart to see Christ suffering and crying out for us and our forgiveness ("Father, forgive them! for they do not know what they do!"---these have to be among the most profound words to ever cross human lips!!). Charles Wesley penned it well---"Hallelujah! What a Savior!!" How could Jesus NOT be beautiful and desirable??
However, a joy in worshipping Christ doesn't flush out all the pet idols we keep, sorry to say. This week, the Holy Spirit confronted me that I had made an IDOL of my job at Deloitte---that is, I derived my sense of WORTH and IDENTITY from my job in Deloitte DCS, rather than in being a child of God...PERIOD. As the scripture from Isaiah above sates, God will not share any of his glory, he will not allow any idols in the believer's heart. Rather, he will smash all idols and kick out any props we lean against. That is is precisely what the Lord has done to me.
I am happy to be consciously aware of my previously unconscious idolatry. I pray to have restored heart, full of authentic worship, satisfied exclusively in Him: detesting all idols. God had to cut my job out from under me in order to get me to see it---and I am grateful.
However, I'm finding myself left with a feeling a desperation for a new identity---and the danger is to jump from the frying pan into the fire---IE: to try to get my sense of identity and worth from a NEW job, or from a Seminary.
May God become even more real...even more glorious...more satisfying!!
dbh
- Isaiah 42:8 NIV.
God has given me the joy of deep satisfying worship since spring of 2004 when "The Passion of the Christ" film came out---God used that film to open the eyes of my heart to see Christ suffering and crying out for us and our forgiveness ("Father, forgive them! for they do not know what they do!"---these have to be among the most profound words to ever cross human lips!!). Charles Wesley penned it well---"Hallelujah! What a Savior!!" How could Jesus NOT be beautiful and desirable??
However, a joy in worshipping Christ doesn't flush out all the pet idols we keep, sorry to say. This week, the Holy Spirit confronted me that I had made an IDOL of my job at Deloitte---that is, I derived my sense of WORTH and IDENTITY from my job in Deloitte DCS, rather than in being a child of God...PERIOD. As the scripture from Isaiah above sates, God will not share any of his glory, he will not allow any idols in the believer's heart. Rather, he will smash all idols and kick out any props we lean against. That is is precisely what the Lord has done to me.
I am happy to be consciously aware of my previously unconscious idolatry. I pray to have restored heart, full of authentic worship, satisfied exclusively in Him: detesting all idols. God had to cut my job out from under me in order to get me to see it---and I am grateful.
However, I'm finding myself left with a feeling a desperation for a new identity---and the danger is to jump from the frying pan into the fire---IE: to try to get my sense of identity and worth from a NEW job, or from a Seminary.
May God become even more real...even more glorious...more satisfying!!
dbh
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Graduation Day
Yesterday, April 17th, 2009, I graduated.
Puzzled, you ask yourself, "Didn't he graduate back in '95 at the U of MN?" Maybe you were there and remember the beautiful June day and all the flowers and green on the Twin Cities campus.
Ok, so it wasn't an official graduation---and the cap & gown and diploma existed only in my imagination. But to me, they were very real.
You see, my job at Deloitte ended yesterday, two weeks after it was announced that our entire department nationwide was undergoing a "Corporate Realignment" which would close all "satellite" offices, like ours beginning April 17th.
I am grateful that I was able to work hard, sprinting until the very very end. In fact, I had to turn away work requests that came through just 45 minutes before my scheduled exit-interview where I would turn in my laptop computer. I have nothing to be ashamed about.
And the sendoff was utterly amazing. Such an outpouring of support and encouragement and reassurance that this was in no way performance-related.
Finally, the support that Deloitte offers to its employees in transition also astounds me. I have a job coach who is helping me with my resume and there are countless resources made available.
So...I look at this is graduating, all over again. Deloitte offered me tremendous training opportunities and I have learned much indeed. Now, with cap and gown (imaginary as they are), and diploma in hand, I am not set out into the world to go and make good.
And I'm ready.
Join me on this journey...I'm sure it will prove to be exciting...and challenging.
Puzzled, you ask yourself, "Didn't he graduate back in '95 at the U of MN?" Maybe you were there and remember the beautiful June day and all the flowers and green on the Twin Cities campus.
Ok, so it wasn't an official graduation---and the cap & gown and diploma existed only in my imagination. But to me, they were very real.
You see, my job at Deloitte ended yesterday, two weeks after it was announced that our entire department nationwide was undergoing a "Corporate Realignment" which would close all "satellite" offices, like ours beginning April 17th.
I am grateful that I was able to work hard, sprinting until the very very end. In fact, I had to turn away work requests that came through just 45 minutes before my scheduled exit-interview where I would turn in my laptop computer. I have nothing to be ashamed about.
And the sendoff was utterly amazing. Such an outpouring of support and encouragement and reassurance that this was in no way performance-related.
Finally, the support that Deloitte offers to its employees in transition also astounds me. I have a job coach who is helping me with my resume and there are countless resources made available.
So...I look at this is graduating, all over again. Deloitte offered me tremendous training opportunities and I have learned much indeed. Now, with cap and gown (imaginary as they are), and diploma in hand, I am not set out into the world to go and make good.
And I'm ready.
Join me on this journey...I'm sure it will prove to be exciting...and challenging.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Deeper than truth
"What is truth?" Pilate asked Christ (John 18:38 ESV). Doubtful it was a sincere question. I expect it was said either with condescending sneering ["You silly fool, don't you realize you're throwing your life away? Wake up from your dreamworld and realize that I am sentencing you to DIE!"] or it was said in disgust, coming from a man who simply wanted to be ANYWHERE but trying Jesus ["Look, you're starting to annoy me? What makes you think I have time for this little philosophical game you have going on here! Do you have any idea what kind of a busy schedule I have? Do you realize that I need to report back to the emperor in 3 days about all that is going on in this cursed city of yours. Don't play games with me, little man. I'll have you crucified without batting an eye. Don't mess with me, I'll make you sorry.] Either way, it's a beautiful question our whole human race is asking.
What is truth? Does it exist? Does it even matter?
Ok, perhaps I'm still stuck in the modern age and haven't really recognized that the post-modern philosophy has now prevailed, that there Is no truth anymore, and truth is irrelevant.
If so, don't bother reading, I'd hate to waste your time.
But if there is a shred of hope for truth to win the day, please give me just a couple more moments of your time. What I'm hoping to articulate is not a court-case of evidence (which I'm sure could be shredded and thoroughly discredited by darn near anyone), but rather just my heart and faith: a celebration, if you will, of Christ, the great truth. Respond as your heart leads you. But this is my heart.
I took my two oldest boys to see the Mpls Children's Theatre production of C.S. Lewis' "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" earlier this month. Ohhhhh, what an incredible production. Now I'm a theatre guy, so I appreciate the art and science of telling story through stagecraft and live actors. Technically and theatrically, is was a stunning performance (at least in the mind of this armchair enthusiast). But so what.
Great theatre is a dime-a-dozen. Broadway does is better. The Guthrie does it better, and Hollywood does it WAY better. Who really cares if some dumb play for kids is done well, right? Who really cares if some dumb homeschooling dad gets his heart stirred in some dumb midwestern city?
Well, that's not the point.
The only reason I'm' going to take the time to write about this is because of what the LWW POINTS to---namely, the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Aslan gives up his life on the stone table, and the White Witch taunts him with screams that she, after killing him, will break her word and kill Edmund, the traitor too, and then rule over all of Narnia forevermore and NO ONE will be able to stop her.
It's every dictator's dream...supreme rule for unlimited years.
The shock, the dread, the horror...when evil prevails over goodness. When darkness succeeds over light, when injustice gains the upper hand over justice. I don't care how much you have intellectually lobotomized yourself, this pain is deeper than the human heart can bear. We are simply MADE to want and believe that the good guys will win in the end.
"When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour."
This, to me, is one of the most powerful sentences in all of scripture. Just imagine...and action so great and noble and powerful, that all activity CEASES, and reverent hush befalls all living things. It's the same reverence that silences an entire stadium when a player is hurt. Nobody cheers, nobody taunts, nobody moves. There is care and concern and human compassion RIVETTED on that small huddle of bodies attending to the fallen player.
THAT is the kind of silence that befalls heaven when judgement is about to begin. And THAT is the kind of moment I call "deeper than truth." I have to use the modifier and magnifier "deeper than" because we have cheapened "truth" to such an extent that is no longer has meaning or weight in our culture.
However, that was not the impact Jesus intended when he uttered that 5 letter word. "You shall know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH shall set you free" (John 8:32). "I am the Way, the TRUTH and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6, which Jesus said to his disciples just hours before laying down his life for the sins of the world).
It seems to me that when Jesus spoke the word TRUTH, you expect the ground to shake and lightning & smoke to strike the earth.
What could be truer than TRUTH? Deeper than truth?
By way of contrast, let's think about the way we humans butcher this gift of TRUTH. Take your average 8 year old, who tells you, "It's ok if you say something not true, you don't have to mean it if you cross your fingers behind your back." Or how about our former president, who spoke boldly to the American people, "It depends on what your definition of 'IS' is." What?! Are we really getting to the point of debating in this sort of existentialist vein? "Do I really exist? Does the chair before me exist? How do I know?"
Give me a break!
This is why I say "deeper than truth." Of course, there's nothing deeper than the bedrock of TRUTH at all...but I've got to say something to elevate our dear friend truth from the muck and the mire we have buried it in these past 40-odd years.
So back to the LWW...
The beauty is in the TRUTH of the story.
It's not, "Oh, how nice...a lion in a fairytale comes back to life and saves the people. Oh how ute. Now please pass the potato chips, my favorite TV show is about to start."
Depicting Aslan as Christ being raised after laying down his life is as TRUE and POWERFUL and MEANINGFUL and RELEVANT as your 401(k) and identity theft. I plead with you, don't trifle with Christ! I beg you to read Revelation chapters 4 and 5 for a vidid depiction of the power of the risen Christ. And of course, there are scores of other scriptures as well to learn of Christ's supreme majesty. Let me summarize by sharing what mankind's reaction to this risen Lord will be:
What is truth? Does it exist? Does it even matter?
Ok, perhaps I'm still stuck in the modern age and haven't really recognized that the post-modern philosophy has now prevailed, that there Is no truth anymore, and truth is irrelevant.
If so, don't bother reading, I'd hate to waste your time.
But if there is a shred of hope for truth to win the day, please give me just a couple more moments of your time. What I'm hoping to articulate is not a court-case of evidence (which I'm sure could be shredded and thoroughly discredited by darn near anyone), but rather just my heart and faith: a celebration, if you will, of Christ, the great truth. Respond as your heart leads you. But this is my heart.
I took my two oldest boys to see the Mpls Children's Theatre production of C.S. Lewis' "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" earlier this month. Ohhhhh, what an incredible production. Now I'm a theatre guy, so I appreciate the art and science of telling story through stagecraft and live actors. Technically and theatrically, is was a stunning performance (at least in the mind of this armchair enthusiast). But so what.
Great theatre is a dime-a-dozen. Broadway does is better. The Guthrie does it better, and Hollywood does it WAY better. Who really cares if some dumb play for kids is done well, right? Who really cares if some dumb homeschooling dad gets his heart stirred in some dumb midwestern city?
Well, that's not the point.
The only reason I'm' going to take the time to write about this is because of what the LWW POINTS to---namely, the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Aslan gives up his life on the stone table, and the White Witch taunts him with screams that she, after killing him, will break her word and kill Edmund, the traitor too, and then rule over all of Narnia forevermore and NO ONE will be able to stop her.
It's every dictator's dream...supreme rule for unlimited years.
The shock, the dread, the horror...when evil prevails over goodness. When darkness succeeds over light, when injustice gains the upper hand over justice. I don't care how much you have intellectually lobotomized yourself, this pain is deeper than the human heart can bear. We are simply MADE to want and believe that the good guys will win in the end.
"When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour."
This, to me, is one of the most powerful sentences in all of scripture. Just imagine...and action so great and noble and powerful, that all activity CEASES, and reverent hush befalls all living things. It's the same reverence that silences an entire stadium when a player is hurt. Nobody cheers, nobody taunts, nobody moves. There is care and concern and human compassion RIVETTED on that small huddle of bodies attending to the fallen player.
THAT is the kind of silence that befalls heaven when judgement is about to begin. And THAT is the kind of moment I call "deeper than truth." I have to use the modifier and magnifier "deeper than" because we have cheapened "truth" to such an extent that is no longer has meaning or weight in our culture.
However, that was not the impact Jesus intended when he uttered that 5 letter word. "You shall know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH shall set you free" (John 8:32). "I am the Way, the TRUTH and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6, which Jesus said to his disciples just hours before laying down his life for the sins of the world).
It seems to me that when Jesus spoke the word TRUTH, you expect the ground to shake and lightning & smoke to strike the earth.
What could be truer than TRUTH? Deeper than truth?
By way of contrast, let's think about the way we humans butcher this gift of TRUTH. Take your average 8 year old, who tells you, "It's ok if you say something not true, you don't have to mean it if you cross your fingers behind your back." Or how about our former president, who spoke boldly to the American people, "It depends on what your definition of 'IS' is." What?! Are we really getting to the point of debating in this sort of existentialist vein? "Do I really exist? Does the chair before me exist? How do I know?"
Give me a break!
This is why I say "deeper than truth." Of course, there's nothing deeper than the bedrock of TRUTH at all...but I've got to say something to elevate our dear friend truth from the muck and the mire we have buried it in these past 40-odd years.
So back to the LWW...
The beauty is in the TRUTH of the story.
It's not, "Oh, how nice...a lion in a fairytale comes back to life and saves the people. Oh how ute. Now please pass the potato chips, my favorite TV show is about to start."
Depicting Aslan as Christ being raised after laying down his life is as TRUE and POWERFUL and MEANINGFUL and RELEVANT as your 401(k) and identity theft. I plead with you, don't trifle with Christ! I beg you to read Revelation chapters 4 and 5 for a vidid depiction of the power of the risen Christ. And of course, there are scores of other scriptures as well to learn of Christ's supreme majesty. Let me summarize by sharing what mankind's reaction to this risen Lord will be:
"Then the kings of the earth and the great ones and the generals and the
risch and the powerful, and everyone, slave and free, hid themselves in the
caves and amonth the rock of the mountains, (16) calling to th emountains
the rocks, 'Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who is seated on the
throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb [the Lord Jesus], (17) for the great
day of the their wrath has come, and who can stand?'" (Rev 6: 16-17 ESV
So to capture this, you gotta think of Barack Obama, Kim
Jong Ill, Vladamir Puttin, Bill & Melinda Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Nancy Pelosi
& Sarah Palin, Pope Benedict, Warren Buffet, and the Clintons
& Kennedys, all huddled together in a musty, dirty, damp cave...and
they are all crying an clinging to one another in terror of facing Jesus
Christ and his anger against sin. That is a picture deeper than
truth.
It matters that Christ died on the cross. The LWW is just a picture of that. And because it matters, and because it is beautiful, and because good triumphs over evil and eternity hangs in the balance, I write this silly little blog, just hoping to jog enough nerves to stir up just enough passion and longing or simple curiosity to bring a reader to a response and to deal honestly with Christ. Is he your Lord, or your doormat? Do you worship him, or just respect him? Is he a good teacher, or the only risen Son of God, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world?
Jesus did not claim to be just a good, moral teacher of good philosophy. He said he is the bread of life, the alpha and omega, the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He said that no one comes to the Father except through Him. Bhudha doesn't get to God through any means but by Jesus Christ. Same goes for Gandhi, and the prophets of Islam, and all the kingpins of Wall Street. Mother Theresa herself gets to God only through the atoning blood of Jesus, not her own good works.
I'm getting too far off my original point, now. Let the question remain---is truth meaningful or relevant? If so, where will you go to discover this truth? I urge you, look no further than "the exact representation of [God's] being" (Hebrews 1:3 NIV)--Jesus Christ.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Gold medals...for me?
Nastia Liukin just won the gold medal in Women's all-around gymnastics. She was born in Moscow and moved to the U.S. with her family. Her father is her coach, and he was a gold medalist in 1988 (her mother also a former world champion). How incredibly sweet for a parent to not only win olympic gold, but then to coach a child to gold themselves. One can only imagine the pride that family is feeling right now in their daughter, and she in her parents.
Do we as Christians truly value and understand the inheritance we have waiting for us? Am I recognizing that we are to share in the Gold Medal standing of Jesus before the greatest Olympic judge that ever will be, God Himself? Do I get the fact that Jesus wrestled against his own humanity and against satan and came out victorious----and after he did that, he went on to absorb the Father's Holy Wrath against all sin?! Talk about Olympic competition. Give me your strongest weighlifter, your best marathon runner, and all the other atheletes combined, and none holds a candle to Jesus and what he endured, pouring out love instead of hatred or spite. Hallelujah, what a savior!
But it doesn't stop there. Jesus comes from his Olympic podium and shouts out to the crowd of spectators, "if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"(Romans 10:9), that is, you will share in His gold-medal standing before the Father and there will be "no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). Do you get that? Do you realize that you will stand beside him on the Olympic platform of all time, making Beijing and Sydney and Seoul and Atlanta and Los Angeles and Athens, Paris, Mexico City, Moscow...all pale in comparison.
Do you get that? Does that grip your heart! Does that make you want to perservere and press on?
The author of this blog realizes all to painfully that this reality doesn't grip him NEARLY enough.
May we all be renewed in true knowledge and holiness.
Amen
Do we as Christians truly value and understand the inheritance we have waiting for us? Am I recognizing that we are to share in the Gold Medal standing of Jesus before the greatest Olympic judge that ever will be, God Himself? Do I get the fact that Jesus wrestled against his own humanity and against satan and came out victorious----and after he did that, he went on to absorb the Father's Holy Wrath against all sin?! Talk about Olympic competition. Give me your strongest weighlifter, your best marathon runner, and all the other atheletes combined, and none holds a candle to Jesus and what he endured, pouring out love instead of hatred or spite. Hallelujah, what a savior!
But it doesn't stop there. Jesus comes from his Olympic podium and shouts out to the crowd of spectators, "if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"(Romans 10:9), that is, you will share in His gold-medal standing before the Father and there will be "no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). Do you get that? Do you realize that you will stand beside him on the Olympic platform of all time, making Beijing and Sydney and Seoul and Atlanta and Los Angeles and Athens, Paris, Mexico City, Moscow...all pale in comparison.
Do you get that? Does that grip your heart! Does that make you want to perservere and press on?
The author of this blog realizes all to painfully that this reality doesn't grip him NEARLY enough.
May we all be renewed in true knowledge and holiness.
Amen
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Can someone explain to me?
Can someone more educated, wise, and knowledgeable than me please explain, beside the partisan rhetoric (aka superficial, one dimmensional propaganda and hot air)---is it REALLY true that the Bush administration's economic policies have truly hurt the ecomony...or is he just the man in office at the time when the economy collapsed?
Asking the same question a different way, IF Bill Clinton was president right now with the exact same world circumstances, would the economy be thriving right now???
I'm just finding it too hard to believe that George Bush is responsible for the state of all affairs in our economy right now.
For my democratic friends, can you explain to me exactly HOW Bill Clinton "made" the economy explode in the 90's...as well as HOW George Bush "made" it collapse in the 2000's??
It all just seems too simplistic to blame it all on Bush---popular as that sport may be. It just strikes me that the economy was doomed to fail no matter what---and in fact it may be that it was the hyper-excess of the 90's that fueled the collapse in the 2000's. That's what they tell us fueled the Great Depression of the 30's---all the excesses of the 20's.
So maybe, just maybe, my Democratic friends need to put the blame on Bill instead of W. I know that will never happen, but it's just a thought nonetheless.
No, really---it's neither Bill nor W's fault...WE are at fault: the American people. Me as much as anyone. We've spent too much, saved to little, and put ourselves deeply in debt. The log in my eye is very large, so I don't dare try to pick specks out of anyone else's eye.
Like I say, it's just a question on which I welcome and expect some rousing debate.
Asking the same question a different way, IF Bill Clinton was president right now with the exact same world circumstances, would the economy be thriving right now???
I'm just finding it too hard to believe that George Bush is responsible for the state of all affairs in our economy right now.
For my democratic friends, can you explain to me exactly HOW Bill Clinton "made" the economy explode in the 90's...as well as HOW George Bush "made" it collapse in the 2000's??
It all just seems too simplistic to blame it all on Bush---popular as that sport may be. It just strikes me that the economy was doomed to fail no matter what---and in fact it may be that it was the hyper-excess of the 90's that fueled the collapse in the 2000's. That's what they tell us fueled the Great Depression of the 30's---all the excesses of the 20's.
So maybe, just maybe, my Democratic friends need to put the blame on Bill instead of W. I know that will never happen, but it's just a thought nonetheless.
No, really---it's neither Bill nor W's fault...WE are at fault: the American people. Me as much as anyone. We've spent too much, saved to little, and put ourselves deeply in debt. The log in my eye is very large, so I don't dare try to pick specks out of anyone else's eye.
Like I say, it's just a question on which I welcome and expect some rousing debate.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Christ, the Gold Medal Winner
Beijing Olympics began tonight. Did you catch the opening ceremonies? Oh my, how incredible. Four hours of heart-pounding showmanship, taken to the bleeding edge. Matt Lauer of NBC called it "breathtaking."
Yet, in it all---think about this now----not one mention of God--the benevolent Creator who made mankind with all its potential. No credit given, not a word, not even a hint. It's as if man did it all himself. Four hours, millions of dollars, and billions of viewers, and God isn't invited. God is shut out. God, who made us all, and gave us our incredible minds and bodies...and not even a hint of thanks or even acknowledgement.
Is it a wonder that He sent his Son to die for us? To reclaim His Glory from the evil one (satan) ho seeks to rob God of all Glory?
Ponder this...
For all the majesty and glory of the Olympic Games and celebrations----one day, Jesus Christ will come to earth to receive his due glory of all mankind, and all the angels in heaven.
And I suspect--
that day will make the Olympic Ceremonies in Beijing--
look like a 2nd Grade school play
in comparison.
May Christ be praised and rule in our hearts!
Yet, in it all---think about this now----not one mention of God--the benevolent Creator who made mankind with all its potential. No credit given, not a word, not even a hint. It's as if man did it all himself. Four hours, millions of dollars, and billions of viewers, and God isn't invited. God is shut out. God, who made us all, and gave us our incredible minds and bodies...and not even a hint of thanks or even acknowledgement.
Is it a wonder that He sent his Son to die for us? To reclaim His Glory from the evil one (satan) ho seeks to rob God of all Glory?
Ponder this...
For all the majesty and glory of the Olympic Games and celebrations----one day, Jesus Christ will come to earth to receive his due glory of all mankind, and all the angels in heaven.
And I suspect--
that day will make the Olympic Ceremonies in Beijing--
look like a 2nd Grade school play
in comparison.
May Christ be praised and rule in our hearts!
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